Saturday, December 12, 2015

Pre Chapter Part 2: Writings on the White Fence

I can't believe that I am getting a post out this soon. It's kind of ironic, considering the fact that it's been nearly eight months since posting before my first pre-chapter. But I was lucky to see I still have some readers and I even was lucky to get two comments!

The options that I gave were:
1. Update on my life
2. Music updates
3. Movie/Book updates
4. Musical Post
5. Sneak Peaks of My Writings (Writings on the White Fence)

From the two comments that I received, there were two votes for option five and one for number one and three. Which means I shall do number five. Number's one and three may come in a couple chapters.

So, truth be told, I've still been in my four year rut of being in writer's block. I've gotten to the point of writing down anything I think of and I guess just calling it a writing prompt to get my creative juices going. I've been experiencing quite a bit with poetry and even going as far as trying some dystopian. This trimester, I have a creative writing class, which is helping me get out of the rut that I am in. Our teacher gives us a writing prompt everyday that really helps to expanded my writer's mind. With that being said, you'll be seeing little dabbles of everything and anything for this post.

One thing we did one day is go to the library inside our school and find five words from the dictionary. Sounds pretty easy, right? We were suppose to find words that were interesting or ones that we didn't know and write down the meaning. Before I even got up from my desk in the classroom, I knew the first word I was going to look for: Abnegation. Abnegation means the act of renouncing or rejecting something. I first heard that word when I read the Wikipedia synopsis of Divergent after I had seen the trailer from a Youtube ad. I can't put my finger on the reason why, but this word and the word 'Erudite' stuck with me. I found out what Erudite meant because of the vocabulary words that I was learning in homeschool that year. But just this year have I actually discovered what 'abnegation' means- and to be completely honest, it fascinates me. Anyways, after we found five words, we headed back to the classroom and had to write a journal/prompt using one of the words that we found. Obviously, I chose this word. To be honest, I don't even remember what the other four words were. All I know is that they weren't as interesting as what I already had planned.

Some days after that, my teacher told us to choose one journal prompt and revise it. And then revise it again. Here is what I came up with: (WARNING!!! Major snippet not a Minor Snippet)

“Welcome to the Abnegation Rebels!”

            This was the day; the day that my whole family had waited for since my birth sixteen years ago. It should have been the day I had waited for all my life. But in fact, I had been dreading it. What was today? It was Election Day. The one day every year where one candidate was voted for and the next day put into power. Yes, it was an autocracy. In my opinion, it was pointless. We were voting on one person who had basically already won. Every year someone came forward and declared, “I am the Power”. As long as they had money and were good speakers, they were “in”. It wasn’t like it was years ago where many candidates would go around and campaign to be what was called a “president”. The politicians now would have six months to hold one rally a month for all who wanted to hear what they had to say. The people, despite whether they thought he was right and despite if they agreed or wanted him or not, would vote on January third.
            My mother had gone all out the entire week. She bustled around the kitchen cooking the best meals we had ate in years. My mother made my brothers cleaned the entire house. Father brought home special candies that he had gotten from New York. My mother bought me a new uniform from the one department store down the street. She hung it on my wardrobe doors a week early. Our colours were emerald green and gold. Only the richest people wore blue and gold. The older folks (When I say old, I mean ancient old) wore black and gold.
The morning of the voting, the Yearlings were always the last to vote. My mother and father and my two older brothers voted in the morning. It was at twelve o’clock when I could go out and vote. My mother did my shiny black hair not in the usual plain bun or ponytail, but instead, she did a highly basic chignon for the ‘special occasion’. As she did my hair, I dared to speak.
            “Why must I vote if we always know he will be the Power?” I asked my mother. “We shouldn’t have to vote for something we already know will happen.”
            “Why would you ask such a question? Jackson Rhelm is the best choice by far out of any of the Powers I have casted a ballot for. This is your year and many others year to follow in our footsteps. Now go and make a good impression.” my mother told me. I headed out the door and walked the two blocks to the bare area on the edge of town. The dust and rocks felt like daggers under my covered feet. My legs felt heavy and slow. My hands turned shaky and cold. There was a long line leading to a gigantic emerald green and gold tent. Under that tent was a table and a man sitting there. On the table was a big box. I looked to my left and saw a hover-car parked near the tent. I bit back a gasp. Jackson Rhelm himself had come to watch the vote. I saw a small booth by the side of a building near the end of the line. A woman was there when I walked up.
            “Athena Neapoline.” I told her.
            “You mean Neapolitan?” she scrunched her eyes tight.
            “No. Like nee-a as in apple- oh- leen.” I pronounced my name for her.
            “Yes.” I told her. She handed me a white slip of paper.
            “Sign your name and then get in line and cast your ballot in the box.”

            I walked to the end of the line. My hands grew sweaty and I constantly had to wipe them on my dress. The sweat was making my signature smudge. My legs shook as I got closer and closer to the front of the line.Thousands of questions were running in my head. Why do I have to vote? Why does no one speak out? Why won’t Rhelm tell us what is going on in the world around us? Is he hiding something? A terrible churning was in my stomach as I stepped up behind the last two people in front of me. Something was not right. My breath wouldn’t come when I got to the front of the line. With a shaking, sweating hand, I raised my hand over the box. But I just couldn’t do it. The man eyed me, suspiciously.
            “I can’t do this. It is not right.” I whispered. But with that whisper my voice grew in tone and confidence. I stood at the front of the line and ripped my ballot into a tiny million pieces. I saw Jackson Rhelm stand up from his red velvet cushioned seat in his open hover-car. My heart raced and I looked him right in the eye despite the faintness my body and my head was feeling. I couldn’t believe what I had done.
            “Take her.” the tall politician ordered the guards standing nearby as watchers. I quickly started pushing my way through the growing crowd. No longer were the Yearlings in one orderly line. Instead, they had created a great swarm in one giant cluster. People grabbed at my clothes and my hair. But I kept running. There was no pain that I felt as the Yearlings tried to stop me. The guards were about a few yards away from my heels. I didn’t know where my speed or my endurance came. I didn’t feel the ground beneath my feet. I dared to look back for  a moment. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. The guards had pulled out weapons and started to fire at me. Bullets whizzed past my ears. The wind blew my hair behind me. She seemed to scream in my ears. I ran like a cheetah through the open desert. I heard a whirring behind me. I groaned and my stomach and heart fell to my feet. They had sent drones after me as well. Another sound of whirring, but louder, came from in front of me. A blue-grey hover-drone came right at me. But I kept running. A hatch opened, as I saw the power engines turn in reverse. As I ran straight to them, they began to fly backways in the same direction I was running. There were two young men inside. One was driving and another one was reaching out to me. The hover-drone came near two feet of my head. I ducked as bullets ricocheted off of the heavy steel of the hover-drone.
            “Take my hand!” he encouraged me. He hands were stretched out ready to catch me. I hesitated. I didn’t know these people.
            “Hey, it’s them or us. You live or you get tortured until you die. You choose.” he looked behind me at the mass of chaos. “I’d be quick if I were you.” he told me. I looked behind me; a stampede was after me. I closed my eyes and jumped. There was no weight under my feet. Time finally caught up with my body. Jelly; that was how my legs felt. My heart was beating as fast as a drum. I opened my eyes to see that I was hundreds of feet in the air. The young man grinned at me and yelled over the whirring, “Welcome to the Abnegation Rebels!” 

Now, if you've read some of my writing, you know that dystopian is not in my comfort zone/box/happy cloud of safe writing. But I had an idea. And when I get an idea for a story, it cannot be erased that easy. When exciting new ideas for a story come into my mind I just have to write them down. 

My next snippet actually comes into play with the one above. My teacher gave us four or five ideas to work with. One of them was "Make the unseen seen". I knew as soon as I saw all of them written out that this one idea could easily tag along with my first prompt. But there was a question with it; what was unseen that had to be seen? And then I got my idea from a song. I usually get most of my ideas from songs, poetry, or other types of things like that. Here is what I came up with: 

“Make the Unseen Seen”

            I stared at Alex and Ethan. They were delusional. They couldn’t be telling me the truth.            
            “You’re lying. That’s not true. None of this is true.” I whispered. But the way that my voice grew louder and more choked up defied what was coming out of my mouth.
            “Athena, don’t you see what’s going on? Your whole life is a lie.  So is everyone else’s. The Media controls your minds and the Power controls the Media. Everyday it’s the same broadcast.” Alex told me. He grabbed a remote an aimed it at a screen. The TV anchor for channel three, Aiden Henry, came onto the screen.
            “Good morning, California! I’m our anchor Aiden Henry. It is 70 degrees and sunny. Upcoming events today: Give to the local charity at the Power16 Church,” Henry kept going on. Alex began showing morning and nightly broadcasts over the previous years. As the screen played the broadcasts over the years, I saw the truth. It was the same broadcasts. Aiden Henry told us the weather, charities, and town events. Over and over and over did this go on. He was what Alex and Ethan called a Controller or a Pawn. They were right.
            “Now, this is what you don’t see, which this footage is captured by me and Ethan.” Alex pushed a few more buttons. The screen displayed a large riot going on near the south side of the town. Another clip showed people throwing torches in a department store that had burned down recently. Another clip showed people vandalizing the last Power’s building.            
            “Stop this! Turn it off!” I told them. Amazingly, he did just that. I fell to my knees and covered my face. I was shaking all over. I felt a hand on my shoulder.
            “Athena, you’re a smart girl. I know that you know the truth. You just don’t want to believe it.” Alex’s soft voice came through to my ears.
            “We don’t believe what’s on TV because it’s not the truth. Everything that you see is what you want to believe is true.  But it’s not. What I just showed you now is the truth, and you know it. But you don’t want to believe it.” Ethan told me.
            “They said that the “riot” was really actors acting out a scene for an upcoming movie. They said that that department store had a gas leak and that’s why it burned down. They said the furnace exploded which is why the front window glass was broken. They said that the vandalizing was part of decorating for the Power’s rallies.” I spoke in a muffled tone under all my hair.
            “They were covering it up. Athena, this world-,” Ethan paused. “this world is not a utopia like everyone thinks it is. There are world problems, and global warming and anything else you can imagine going on outside the town borders. Everything you know is a lie.”
            “I know.” I whispered and looked up at them.
            “That’s one of our goals; to make the unseen seen The people – they need to know the truth And if it’s messing with the false media, then so be it. We’ll do whatever it takes to get the truth out. Are you in?”
            I suddenly became aware. My mind felt like it had been released from captivity. Everything became clearer. I had been living under a rock. The entire town was as well. The Media had to be stopped. The Controllers had to be stopped. The Power had to be stopped. With a determined look in my eye, I turned to Alex and declared, “I’m in.”

Now, I've also said that I've been experimenting with some poetry as well. As far as I'm concerned, I'm no Erin Hanson or anything not even an F. Scott Fitzgerald or an Ernest Hemingway (I know they're just writers but still). I'm not even a Robert Browning. But I found poetry as an outlet for anything I was feeling, basically just like writing my stories. I've also found that it's easier to write in the heat of the moment than just whenever. There is also some discretion below each of them. 

*Note* Some of these, as I mentioned were written in the heat of the moment, and some of them I don't even really mean anymore. Just keep that in mind as you read all my sappy ones. 

So I'll share some poetry with you all, let it be known that I've been experimenting with better syllable counts as well.

This one was one I wrote for my school's veteran's day assembly:

They've carried the flag of our country
They've fought until they gained victory
Days and months and years have gone by
Why did so many have to die?

They marched into battle singing a gay and hopeful song
Our young soldiers battle was enduring and hard and long
War changed all who marched off; the gentle ones turned to the tough
And somehow they had to believe that their efforts were enough

Muskets turned to cannons, cannons turned to grenades
With these hot weapons of war, our soldiers have paid
Innocent boys turned to men who raised their rifles high
Some died on the battlefield with their eyes to the sky

Let us remember our veterans today
Who fought for our freedom in the greatest way
This is our small tribute from us to you
For all that you did and all that you do

My First Poem Ever
Discretion: This was when I was crushing on someone and it's really stupid and kind of embarrassing, but it also marks the start of my experimenting with poetry

Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time
If there ever was a time
There were a thousand people in the sea
But you made it feel as if it were only you and me
One day I was living
The next day I was drowning
If only I had learned to save myself
Once upon a time
I needed you like someone needs air
There was a time when you gave me more than I could bear
When I learned to swim, I thought it would be alright
But you made me realize that the dark sometimes covers the light
Once upon a time
If there ever was a time
We would sing out loud
And beautiful was the sound
Dark would turn to light and night would turn to day
Weeds would turn to flowers like in the month of May
Once upon a time
One greedy man got between you and me
The hit was hard and the hurt was deep
That was the moment when I looked around
To see myself sinking down
I’ve fought to keep my head above
The rising water that’s killing my love
But if you loved me so
The water would turn to starry lights
And form there we would continue our paradise

We Are Lost Souls
Discretion: This poem is somewhat recent, but it came to me so clear that I didn't bother matching syllable counts or anything

What I would do for you there seemed to be no end
What I would have been to you would have been a friend
You would have never had to pretend
I’d have conquered mountains just to get to you
I’d have even braved the ocean to see you through
But now I don’t even recognise who you are
Not even after our journey thus far
I was nothing more than level one
Heavens knows there’s always someone more fun
Communication vanished in the air
Why did I think you would even care?
I let my emotions run amuck
The price I pay is losing my luck
I should have left a long time ago
I’ll always remind myself to never be that slow
And if you came crawling back
I hope my resolution would not crack
I’ve cried over you before
But don’t expect it anymore
I thought I couldn’t live without your presence
But now I see that it was just a pretence
You taught me a lesson I’ll never forget
You taught me that there is more for me that is not yet set
Love is not an emotion, but a fleeting feeling
It puts a tear in your heart that won’t ever start healing
Losing you hurts more than a knife
But if it spares my true heart then it gave me true life
All I ask is that you remember me
And all of our good memories

The Maze of Life
Discretion: Story of my life here, folks

I wander my way through the haze
I get lost because life’s maze
Every step I take seems to always be wrong
In my ears I hear a beautiful wrong song
It beckons me like a siren from the sea
If there’s anyone to blame it’s surely me
I take the wrong steps and I know it’s my own fault
But it’s never too late to turn back and halt
I always trip over my own two feet
And I’ll fall for anyone that I meet
They give me what I want but not what I need
Like planting a garden that’s all full of weeds
Many say that you reap what you sow
For me, it’s true; Where do I go?
I have fallen so far, I am lost in this maze
Like I child without her Father, I’m in a daze
Take me now and set me free
If you are the Way, the Truth, and the Light
Then save me now and give me back my sight

Vanquished Games
Discretion: Hm.... This might be one that I am most proud of...... and yet the most horrible one at the same time......

Rain will cease and clouds will depart
You and I have cared from the start
Fog will clear and winds will blow
Our affection will fall low
Trees will shake and waters will rise
Our feelings will vanish in size
Storms will occur and snow will fall
There’s nothing left, nothing at all
Earthquakes crack and tornadoes scream
Nothing is truly what it seems
Smoke will fade and dew will dry
We’re torn away by and by
Is it your fault or mine?
Is there no silver line?
I miss you but I’ll never admit that it’s true
I won’t give you the advantage that makes me blue
Is it for the best; I’ll never know
Maybe it is, maybe it’s not so
You won’t miss me like I’ll miss you
You’d never know you get me through
I’ll die a little inside when I see your face
But I will not keep running in an endless chase
Keep me close to your thoughts and I’ll do the same
As opponents an end has come to our game

So there you go, everyone! Some of my writing that I have been doing. I hope you all enjoyed it. Also, note that the "Abnegation Rebels" one is recent and has given me somewhat of a little drop oil in my brain storming machine. You just might see some more snippets as I keep on writing it. 

This blog will be under some serious construction coming up soon. I have my winter break and fixing my salvageable blog is one of my top priorities on my list. My lovely sister Samantha agreed to make me a new header; Something slightly more professional and classy and a little more personal. Also, I am FINALLY going to correct my identity crisis on here. Between Hannah S and Anna S on my blog and my Pinterest, and Savannah White on and my different pen name for Wattpad, there's just has to be some better organization here. I am thinking of staying with Anna S, just because it would seem that's how must people know me and identify me on here, but you never know. My pen name just might become my official "name" of the internet. All I know is that something has to change. I won't tell you anymore than this, and hopefully you'll be surprised for what is to come in the next two-three weeks.


  1. Abnegation is a very interesting word. And wow-I really liked your snippet for it. It was so intriguing! I especially loved how you opened the story.
    "This was the day; the day that my whole family had waited for since my birth sixteen years ago. It should have been the day I had waited for all my life. But in fact, I had been dreading it."
    I really, really like that. :)

    The second snippet! I'm very intrigued now. I'd love to see how the relationships between Athena, Ethan, and Alex play out.

    I liked this line of your "We are Lost Souls" poem:
    "Losing you hurts more than a knife
    But if it spares my true heart then it gave me true life"

    Oh wow. I really like "The Maze of Life". I can definitely tell that you're writing from your heart there-I will be praying for you!! :)

    Yay! I'll look forward to more from "Abnegation Rebels" if you post more snippets!

    Thank you for sharing your writing!

    1. Hey Natalie, thanks for reading! I'm so glad you liked the snippets I shared and my poetry. Also, merry almost Christmas to you! I actually am planning for my next post to be absolutely dedicated to my Abnegation story. I've changed some names and even some of the story in general. And I'll also be seeking some advice on it. You might even get a character interview and some featurettes of how my characters look inside my head. :)

  2. Oh yay! I'll definitely be looking forward to that post. I love character interviews and getting to see how the characters look, so those posts sounds great!
    And Merry Christmas to you, as well! :D


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